A New Kid on the Block and a Sporting Icon

Hi Everyone

This week, our latest Prime Minister was consigned to history, receiving a standing ovation in Parliament from many of the people who had confined him to history. Also this week, Parliament packed up their shorts, sandals with room for their buckets and spades until early in September.  Next Monday, we will now have a new Prime Minister who, just a few short weeks ago, was not even a member of Parliament. Also, next Monday, he will name his cabinet members in the usual game of musical chairs. They will then be in charge of our country without any scrutiny from the opposition parties for the next six weeks. Last week a 78 year old ex member of Parliament was murdered in what the police are calling a “tagetted Murder”. She was the third member or in her case ex member to be murdered in the last few years.No doubt every member is now having to step up their personal and family security to the point where some of them must ask themselves, is it really worth it? We might profoundly disagree with their views, but we have to use the ballot box, not the bullet to bring about any changes we think we need. The alternative will lead us all into a very dangerous place. 

Some of you might remember that back in 2019 I wrote a ‘best selling’ book. The title was A SPORTING PRODIGY with the subtitle THE SPORTING MISFORTUNES OF AN 80 SOMETHING POTTERIES LAD. It told the story of my enthusiasm for nearly every sport, but also showed that, unfortunately, I had little or no talent for any of them. Now, as I approach middle age, it seems that the only sport that I am able to even attempt is snooker, so this week with two of my friends, we booked a table at our local snooker hall for two hours. Now, if you watch professional snooker players on TV, they would probably play about five games in two hours, so it did not seem beyond our ability to complete two or possibly three games. Before I tell you what happened next, I have to inform you that my two playing partners were also approaching middle age, although not yet my vintage. After about half an hour, one of them said that he thought we should complete two games, which, even at that point, I thought was a pipe dream. When the light finally went out after two hours, we had not yet completed one game with three balls still on the table. The good news is that we all achieved our 3000 step daily target while carrying a snooker cue. We will probably put ourselves through the same ordeal next month in the hope that we can get a TV contract.

Every year I grown tomatoes both outside and in the greenhouse. This year something odd is going on. The outside tomatoes are more advanced than the ones in the greenhouse where I have one or two large tomatoes while on the rest of the same truss the tomatoes have not yet even started. I blame it all on global warming as I am not going to admit that my skill at growing tomatoes is as bad as my sporting achievements. The good news is that our crop of onions are the best ever so maybe global warming has its advantages.  

Just a Thought:

The hardest thing about an MP’s holiday isn’t packing the bags, It’s finding an excuse to put the suncream on their expense sheet.

My friend told his psychologist that he thought he was turning into a snooker ball. He sent him to the end of the cue.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.  

Brian

Ps. I still have a few copies of my book for sale. It costs £5 plus £2 postage.

Just email me at bmate248@ gmail.com

The £5 for the book sale will be donated to the children's charity named in the book.